AND MY HAGMAN GIFS AREN'T WORKING AND I HATE EVERYTHING

And it seems to me you lived your life like a bourbon in the rain...

It's 11:07pm on November 23, 2012 and Sir Lawrence Hagman...is not alive. He's dead. Larry Hagman died. And I wasn't there. I WASN'T. THERE. Patrick Duffy was! Linda Gray was! Why wasn't I?! Why didn't anyone call me??!! I would have quit school, shoved a handful of FAFSA money down my bra, booked the first available plane ticket to Dallas and sat my ass down next to that man for as long as it took for him to NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT.

Sigh. I guess now is where I say I'd like to thank everyone from their Twitter/email condolences during this extremely difficult time. Man. I don't know how I'm going to tell Ex Co-Blogger Eddie. I feel like the news should come from me, but I just don't know how to break it to her. That and it's midnight on a Friday and she has a life, whereas I was just "night napping" in and out of an episode of Tanisha Gets Married when my phone started blowing up. I thought I had perhaps won a prize of some sort (I was still semi-asleep at the time), but NO. JR is in heaven with Jock, wearin' gold medallions and pattin' the rumps of God's secretaries. "Jay-Are!" they say with a coy smile, feigning indignation. Hagman just laughs that little Hagman laugh of his and gets some dap from John Forsythe. 

Remember how happy JR was when the Asia deal went through?

That's how I like imagining him in heaven. Just drunk and jovial and successful in Asian markets for all eternity.

So, where do we go from here? I think we both know the answer to that question: LARRY HAGMAN JPEG/GIF GRIEF PARTY!!!!!

Goodnight, you prince of Dallas, you king of Southfork.