Where do we go from here?

[I'd like to preface this post by saying that I wrote it early yesterday afternoon when I was f-f-fired up. I've cooled down considerably since then (I went over to my parent's house and ate a rotisserie chicken. It's not important), but I still feel like there's an important point to be made here and I want to make it. I've been pussyfooting (vomit, I'm so sorry) around the fact that something's been going on recently, and I irritate the crap out of myself when I get all 2003 emo LiveJournal and hint that something's wrong but don't actually say what it is. So, this is what it is.]

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This might be a little heavy for a Friday, but I want to break the fourth wall and address a few blog comments.

I swear to God this isn't me be sassy, but I'm absolutely looking for a part-time job and am always looking for freelance design work. I just wrapped up two big jobs, so my schedule is now wide open, design wise. If you have any leads, send 'em my way.

And the bigger issue:

Man. I've gotten this comment over and over again since our book came out, and those comments, along with reviews like this one that only bill Chris as the author, are troubling, at best. This book was a 50/50 effort. All of our books have been. All of our books are also written in the third-person about 101 hypothetical scenarios, some of which are centered around men and some of which are centered around women. It seems absurd to me that anyone would assume that just because I'm a woman, I only wrote the scenarios about women, but that's actually what's happening. And not to get all GeNdeR LOLZ! on you, but, frankly, this shit is going to hurt my career. Our writing style, and my writing style in general, is aggressive, dark, and vulgar, which in turn is interpreted as being "masculine". I always thought that my ability to write from both a male and female perspective was a credit to my writing and would make me marketable to television's male-dominated writing staffs, but how are they supposed to acknowledge my skill as a writer if they think I only wrote the 15% of the book that's about periods and hair dye and GIRL STUFFS? This obviously begs the question: why was our book written mostly from the male perspective? Well, I don't know. It wasn't a conscious choice. Maybe it's because I like lampooning frat boys and frat boy culture. Maybe it's because women are taught to be "nice girls" and aren't typically Misanthropes. Maybe it's because I have an aggressive personality and Chris is a man. I don't know. (But it's a damn good question for an intro to gender studies class at Mount Holyoke, I can tell you that much.)

What I do know is that this has been a major blow to me personally and to my partnership with Chris. Every time I have to explain to someone that, no, we both wrote the book and believe it or not, Chris wrote the scenarios about being pregnant and I'm responsible for most of the "Tits! Bros! Booze!" jokes because I'm just that kind of modern 90's gal-on-the-go, it kills me. Just the fact that I have to clarify this right now on my own blog makes me physically nauseous. It's just so much work to not get credit for. And I'm talking about the books and the four years of blogging I did to lead up to the point of even being asked to write a book. 

Intellectually, I know that none of this is Chris' fault, but I still resent him for it and as a result, our relationship has become extremely strained. (I cAn HaZ PeRioD???!~) This situation is also hurting the blog because for the past month or so, every time I sit down at my laptop to write a blog post, I get so mad. Because it's like, what's the fucking point? We write blog posts so we can write books that will end up launching Chris' career?? Fuck that noise. I'd rather just watch old episodes of Maude on youtube and cat nap. Life's too short.

So, this leads us back to the question I posed as the title of this post: where do we go from here? Do I suck it up and risk someone big reading one of our books and only taking Chris to the next level because they think he wrote the majority of it? Do I go around the country slapping a sticker on the cover of every copy that says, "Meghan Rowland: tits like a lady, LOLs like a man!"? Do I save myself the time and give up? I don't know what the right answer is. I've been talking this over with my friends and family and Chris for a few weeks now, and none of us know what to do about this.

So, here's what I am going to do: I'm going to keep blogging. I'm going to write my crass little fart jokes in this stupid little blog everyday, Monday through Friday, like I set out to do four years ago. Because next to playing slightly sharp versions of Hall and Oates songs on the bass, it's the only thing I know how to do, and I am goddamn good at it. I don't know if I'll ever make it as a comedy writer, or if Chris will, or if we will as a team, but I do know that I'd rather keep trying and fail than look back twenty years from now and wonder what would have happened if I hadn't quit. So, I will see you Monday morning because I've got a whole notebook full of post ideas, no job, and $9 in my bank account, and if you have a problem with any of that, you can just suck my dick. Brah.

...And, you know, T.G.I. Hagman.

As of 8:00am on October 14, 2011, Larry Hagman is...alive!

Have a great weekend, everyone. <3