- And speaking of Thanksgiving and rap music! I have an embarrassing story for you. You know how I feel about Dre? Well, that's how my sister feels about Ludacris. The very first time I ever heard the Ludacris song, "MoneyMaker," the line, "Just be thankful that Pharrell gave you something to bump to," got my gears a-turnin'. I decided that that year at Thanksgiving dinner, when my family was going around the table saying what we were all thankful for, I was going to say that I was "thankful that Pharrell gave me something to bump to!" and it would be the funniest thing anyone had ever heard in their entire lives and my sister would have a newfound respect for me and I'd be the hero of Thanksgiving from thereon after.
Now, I hatched this plan in July of 2006 which means that by the time Thanksgiving actually rolled around, I had been sitting on it for an embarrassing four months. But finally those excruciating four months passed, Thanksgiving was upon us, and I was anxiously seated at the dinner table ready to grace my family with the Greatest Joke Ever Told. Unfortunately, what I didn't factor in is that my family doesn't actually have a tradition where we go around the table and say what we're thankful for. But you bet your sweet ass that was about to change.
"Hey! I got an idea!" I said. "Let's go around the table and say what we're thankful for!!!!" I was met with a few raised eyebrows. My family isn't really the touchy-feely kind. We spend most of Thanksgiving drinking, watching Mystery Science Theater 3000 and napping. (Christ I love Thanksgiving.) But that year, I insisted we go around the table, open our sardonic little hearts and say what we were thankful for. Eventually, my family agreed. I was so excited. My turn couldn't come fast enough.
Mom: "Well I'm thankful for having such a wonderful fam—" YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, NEXT!
Aunt: "I guess I'm thankful for having people in my life who—" OK GREAT, WONDERFUL, BECCA GO!
"Uhhh...I'm thankful for—" GREAT, TOUCHING, LOVED IT. MY TURN!!!!
My heart was racing and I could barely contain my own excitement. I took a breath and composed myself.
"Well everyone," I said, barely able to keep a straight face, "This year—I am thankful that Pharrell gave me something to bump to!"
Nothing. Nobody spoke.
"O...k...," my dad said, finally breaking the uncomfortable silence, "I guess it's my turn. I'm thankfu—"
"NO, NO, NO!" I interrupted, "Maybe you didn't hear me. I said, I'm thankful that Pharrell gave me something to bump to!" [Crickets and blank stares] "Like...like in the 'MoneyMaker' song? Ludacris, Becca? Ludacris?" I searched my sister's stony face for a sign that she not only knew what I was talking about, but thought it was the greatest thing since sliced Jesus.
"Yeah. I got it," she said instead, "It's just trying a little too hard. Gotta ask though, how long were you sitting on that one for, buddy?"
".....................................Four months."
"Nice. Dad, you're next."
And now this is what I'm reminded of every Thanksgiving. Personal failure. Sounds about right.
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18 comments:
i'm thankful that i'm not the only nocturnal blogger posting at this obscene hour. happy t-day!
bbbaaahahah that story makes me giggle at this ungodly early hour. i think you told it last year too, but it definitely did NOT get old!
good job, mcblogger!
P.S. i am thankful for this blog and that pharrell gave me something to bump to, too
ah, meg! except -- have you done something similar at another family holiday? or am i just having an extreme case of deja vu? because i feel like i've heard that story before! maybe it's because i like to stalk you a bit and i maybe imagined it as something you might do so i could nod appreciatively and pat my meg doll's head. or another reason that's less creepy.
It's from last November. (11.24.09) Holidays = RERUNS.
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i love this story. thanks for bringing it back!
Anon 5:08 AM .... if that's not the creepiest post ever.
This is what I think of every time I think of Moneymaker. It's an awesome mashup of Slim Goodbody (effing creepy if you've never seen him) and Moneymaker. It's amazing...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aI3kWpH6HNI
I love, love, love, love you Meg. I have to mention something though, which I have been sitting on for awhile myself. I am not really certain how to proceed with this, because I am afraid that it might be a little offensive or perhaps even cause the recall of some embarrassing moment in time or anecdote. I was watching Family Guy the other day, prior to Thanksgiving while I was at home cooking (I cannot make food for myself without watching Family Guy at the same time apparently. This is also why I burn rice) and I suddenly thought of you during an episode while someone or another was giving the character Meg a hard time. Now I cannot watch Family Guy without thinking about you and your blog. Which is more than I already think about you and your blog. Which is already an unhealthy amount. So... I really hope this just did not create an awkwardness between us. I mean you have the same name as a cartoon character, and that is like a stupidly simple reason to make an association in one's subconscious.
Until you wrote this post.
Meg from Family Guy will grow up to be the Meg here. And it doesn't have to be Thanksgiving to be thankful that Pharrell gave you something to bump to.
I completely agree with Elizabeth!
TEARS.
LOTS and LOTS of TEARS from laughing so damn hard. This is 100% something that I would do at a family event.
Sidenote- Every year we go around the table and "share" because it toots my 100 y/o grandmother's horn and when you're 100+ you get what you want. Ever since I've been old enough to really comprehend it I evilly (sp?) say "I'm thankful for gravy!" because my semi-handicapped uncle LOVES gravy to an extent that involves him drinking it STRAIGHT from the gravy bowl mid-meal. (New record this year- 3 bowls of gravy!) When I say it, he gets a sheepish grin on his face and pretends like this tradition isn't slowing him down from that which brings him true joy. Chunky. Hot. Straight from the turkey. Gravy. The rest of the family unable to laugh at his actual behavior refuses to laugh at me because "it's inappropriate" but DAMN IT I know they're laughing on the inside.
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Just wanted to say that my bestie and I have been re-reading this every Thanksgiving for the last 12 years. It's still pure fold
Thank you, and thank Pharrell.
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