- So the Twitter rumors (that I started...) are true—Russell the Homophobic Co-Worker quit. After Friday he'll no longer be Russell the Homophobic Co-Worker, he'll just be Russell the Homophobic. Which sounds kind of regal and noble like Richard the Lionheart. Except times ignorant. His quitting was so anti-climactic and not dramatic at all, unfortunately. I didn't see him for two straight weeks (gay magic) and then he randomly sauntered in Monday morning, didn't say hi (as per usual), was on the phone for an hour and then came out and said to me, "Well Meghan, you're going to be the first to know!" At this point all I could think was, "GAY. HE'S GAY. GAYER THAN A CHRISTMAS TREE. I CALLED IT. HE'S COMING OUT TO ME RIGHT NOW. WE'RE GOING TO TOWN TONIGHT. LORD LOVE A STRONG GAY BLACK MAN." But he continued, "Friday will be my last day working here." Dinger. I played the ohhh Russell that's so sad what will you be doing?? game hoping the answer was a leather daddy named "Hoss," but that wasn't the case. Get this! He's leaving to become a deacon in his church. That was the big decision he couldn't talk to me about. That's his birthday present to himself. I mean, I guess I should have seen this coming. After working here for a year and two months, here's what I've ascertained about RTHCW:
Russell's Likes
- Jesus
- Making a show out of praying before meals
- Telling me he's fasting before proceeding to eat a giant chicken caesar salad
- Calling me "Boss Lady"
- Not closing doors
- Sucking air through his teeth
Russell's Dislikes
- Fags
- Meghan McBlogger
- Cream cheese
- Lady Gaga (I assume)
- Closing doors
- Silent workplaces
So, yeah. Russell's not gay; he's just really into Jesus. And good for him! I guess. I'm really having some intense mixed emotions about this entire situation. On one hand, I'm psyched I won't have to work with him anymore, but on the other, he's one more grossly homophobic person working in the Church. Not to mention the amazing blog fodder he provided me with on a daily basis! I'm definitely going to miss that. Sigh. Lock up your alter boys! Russell the Homophobic—coming to a church near you.
-------------
And then, ironically, Boss #1 and Boss #2 walked in and fired me. BOOM. I'm so Stephanie Vorhees right now. All things considered, it wasn't that bad. They walked in, gave me my Dear John letter, told me to leave my keys and get out. The only remotely sassy thing said was when Boss #1 said, "Boss #1 is not happy," and I said "I'm not surprised," back.
I'm not sure how I should be feeling right now. Mostly I don't feel bad at all, which in turn is making me feel bad. Finding out that your seemingly innocuous receptionist is actually the Trojan Horse of snark that is Meghan McBlogger must suck and I want to say I feel for them, but I just don't. If you hadn't been horrible, I wouldn't have talked shit about you.* And I'm putting an asterisk next to you because I never named them or the company by name. I'm sure they're still going to sue the pants off me because this is America and that's what we do. Oh and good luck trying to get all five paper clips I'm worth. Shit, I'll give 'em to you for free as a special thanks for all the blog material.
After I got fired, I called Alex and told him what happened. He immediately burst into a fit of laughter and said, "Look. I know I'm not you and I'm not in your place right now, but I can't help but think it was completely worth it."
You're damn right it was! I knew what I was getting myself into; I knew they'd catch on sooner or later. You can't be the Everyman of 20-somethings everywhere and not expect your very real bosses to figure it out. I took back the mid-morning—and it felt damn good.
In the meantime, I'm not going anywhere. Why would I? Can you imagine the lawsuit posts??
Judge: Boss #1, you are being charged of 'bleeding like a stuck pig.' What say you?
Boss #1: NOT GUILTY, YOUR HONOR!
Meg McBlogger: OBJECTION!!!!!!1
Boss #1's tampon: Sustained.
So I'll be here, Monday-Friday, blogging as always. And I just want to say thank you so much for the incredible amount of support coming in. Keep the tweets coming! Maybe we can make #2birds1blog a trending topic and someone will finally realize what a cash cow the 2b1b army is and we can keep the blog going indefinitely?! (And publish more posts a day?? And do a weekly podcast called "2birds1podcast"?? I have ideas?? WHHHHHHAAAA??) Lemons, I'd like you to meet lemonade.
I'd also just like to specifically take this time to break the fourth wall and thank my parents. My parents are mind-bogglingly proud of this blog and the community built around it and have nothing but faith in me. Not every parent would respond to getting a call from their daughter saying she just got fired because her bosses found her shit talkin' blog by saying, "Meh, we knew it was coming. They're assholes. Dad will talk to his lawyer. But I gotta go the Giant now, love you honey." And yet, that's exactly what happened. So thank you, mom and dad, for always believing in me and my ridiculous blog primarily dedicated to boner jokes and Larry Hagman. That is what I call amazing parents.
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197 comments:
OMG I'm actually crying. There are happy tears in my eyes. I'm proud of you!!
awwww meg! i almost teared up when you talked about R&D! so sweet. Im soproud of you, you know that. Let me know how I can help!
Meg!!! - NH loves you! And anytime you need to run to a far away, full of rednecks and hicks, land - we will be here waiting for you with an open bottle of jager! Because that's how we roll. <3
Your army of faithful fans LOVES YOU! Use us to your advantage! Power to the people, all that stuff!
I just found your blog and have read a month's worth of posts!
I got fired from my job for having a blog and I never even wrote about my coworkers or job... but I understand what you're dealing with. Just keep your chin up (look like you're already doing that!).
- Jo
Your attitude is amazing. I would be sobbing my eyes out right now and apologizing profusely because that's what I do. Long live 2birds1blog!
Wait...so how did they find the blog? Did they even tell you?
I can't believe it actually happened, but we're all here for you! Clicking that little "2b1b" link in my bookmarks (yeah, I've got you bookmarked in Internet Explorer, all old-school) and discovering a new post makes the vacuum that is my boring afternoons that much brighter. My stomach actually does a happy flip when I don't immediately recognize the header of the post: new material.
Write on -- from one snarky (but not as awesome as you) Meg to another!
AH-MAY-ZING. I literally said "good girl" when you put the asterisk next to the "you." They're out of their damn minds if they think that they can successfully sue you for never saying their name at all. Holy crazy. Clearly everyone supports you and I picture some Michael Jackson trial action going on where we all march to the courthouse with our signs and Jager. This pretty much is going to be the best publicity EVER for your blog, so embrace it honey. And podcasts? YES PLEASE - my request is for you to head up to NYC and stalk down Goth Gay Andrew and have a cawfee tawk with him.
For 20-somethings everywhere, in the words of Braveheart:
FREEEDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
And you know we'll all chip in our collective 25cents and Jager bottles if you need the financial support.
How did they find it?! Inquiring minds want to know! Good luck to you, and I'm so glad you're not going anywhere!
Fuck em! You were too good for that job.
this is ridiculously inconsiderate of me, but what was the gist of the DJ letter? or are you savin' that for the trial?
and you never named them by name (or even initial!), nor the company, and you never said the location (metro stop maybe, but not building!)
I know how you feel, TRUST ME. But I'm paranoid and don't write stuff on my blog about co-workers because my portfolio website is a sub-link for the site my blog is on (all food-related, no people!), so that wouldn't be smart...
at least you hated your job! i wonder if you can reap some unemployment benefits??
Please add a Donate button so I can pitch in to keep 2birds1blog on its 2feet.
yeah, did they tell you how they found it?!?! was that really all that was said when they fired you? more deets! you're amazing! this is seriously, and very sadly, the most excited i've been in a long while.
I've never met you and yet feel deeply affected by this. I got fired from my job in December, although it wasn't for the same reason. How did they find out about the blog? Have you filed for your unemployment? You should do that right away. When they fired you did you admit to being the author of the blog? I have so many questions!!! You're awesome though, so you'll be fine.
Meg McBlogger:
Love ta love ya.
Also, can't help but think of how hysterical a trial with the 2birds1blog cast would be.
See you soon. By the way, I'm available for therapeutic drinking and diet coke colonics.
1. f 'em if they can't take a joke. Cripes, even though they were kinda douchy you always tempered your humor regarding them in a sweet way.
2. I spend *way* too much time on your blog/tweet/etc because holy hell the first thing I thought (and tweeted) was what does your mom say.
3. Puh-Lease tell us how they found out and what they said.
4. Lastly, you know they are compulsively reading all your postings and comments now, right? *waves at bosses 1 & 2*
We've all got your back. The next B2B1 party is going to have to happen fast so we can all buy your drinks for the night and toast to the memories of Boss #1, Boss #2, RTHCW, and the rest of the former cast. And more importantly, that you'll finally be able to try and erase them from your mind with a silkwood Jager shower.
There HAS to be a lawyer who reads this blog who would be willing to take your case straight to the supreme court! Well, ok, maybe the district court...thanks boss #1 and boss #2...wanna talk more about your vagina?? Sweet...can't wait to read those transcipts, LOL!!!
Someone start a slow clap for this girl
Agreed, it was worth it! Now you can dedicate all your time to stalking the No Reservations guy.
we love you, meg mcblogger! when i first found the blog, i didn't want to like it, b/c i am old and a curmudgeon, but you had me literally crying at my desk every day when your post came up, and i was sold.
anyways, i agree with everyone who says kudos to being out of there! please keep posting. and omg, i love your parents' reactions.
in the meantime, i am on pins and needles to see if larry hagman is alive tomorrow. seriously, you can't leave us. my friend and i have already started fretting about the day that you tell us larry hagman is dead. i need that info to come from you and not from some faceless website.
HOL-LER.
i completely agree with dana- i have no idea why in the world they'd get it into their dumb little heads that they can sue you when you never mentioned them by name AND in fact will just end up outing themselves with this ridiculousness they're calling a defamation lawsuit. we love you to the maxx and will storm the courtroom to point and laugh at Bosses #1 and #2. long live 2b1b!!!
and if you need a drink (or several shots of jaeger) i'm a local and would love to buy you a round in thanks for all past AND FUTURE hours of entertainment. you're the best!
Ladybird! First, congratulations on your daring escape from corporate drudgery. Second, I must echo the posts of those before me and ask for MORE DETAILS! How did they find out about the blog? Was there an invisible Meek in your office that spilled the beans? Was it RTHCW? I fail to see how Boss #1 and Boss #2 would have gotten their heads out of their asses long enough to surf the blogosphere and stumble upon yours...
Do you suppose this might have an impact on your month of sobriety? Has it already?
Welp. I guess that saves you the headache of having to quit... Getting fired is so much easier! And now you have all this free time to work on that jager endorsement ( I think all of us readers should send you a bottle so you can fill your apartment with it to further your argument that they should in fact sponsor you ). Furthermore, its not like you were just writing a bunch of bullshit libel & ruining their good name, you were venting like a normal human being. Fuck them!
You should def file for unemployment. Unless they can name specific tasks you failed to complete at work, you should be fine. And they can't claim libel (/slander) if you didn't name them or their company. Soooo, you were just fired, and have just cause for unemployment.
We just fired someone (for being an idiot) and she didnt get unemployment (because she straight up didnt do her work and cost us thousands of dollars in late fees with unpaid bills). Just did this drill.
All I have to say is: FUCK YES!
Good for you. Seriously? I have no frigging clue where you work, who your bosses are, who you are, or any other identifying details - and I am a scary Internet stalker.
So, good luck with that defamation suit, A-holes! More fodder for the blog!
I think Jager needs to sponsor a celebration party, am I right?!
Oh, and you definitely need to tell us how they found the blog.
(You'd think if they picked up the WP, they would have figured it out long ago.)
This is probably borderline creepy, but I'm volunteering to take you out and buy you drinks. not only do you crack me up every single day, you got fired and made it funny. You are my hero.
I think I speak for a lot of people when I say that you've made our post-grad adventures more tolerable! Thanks for bringing your humor, snarkiness, and perspective to all of our cubicle's everyday! You have a ton of loyal readers, including myself, who will do everything in our power to keep you afloat! Hang in there!
it makes me happy to think about boss 1 & 2 reading through all your posts :) good luck, we love you!
Damn. Well, that sucks. But it definitely seems like you're taking it well. You should totally get paid for this blog anyways. Sometimes I choose to read this instead of watching Food Network when I play hookie from work, so you must be on to something!
I was so afraid you were going to be leaving us to fend for ourselves. Fuck that shit, keep this baby going! We need you!
I wish I could have seen boss #1 and boss #2's faces when they were reading this. I bet they were horrified. It makes it soooo worth the trash talk.
We're here to support you!
This event is a media gold mine (which could then translate to sponsors. Jager what!). Email all the "new media" writers at the big boys and get yourself some interviews (without mentioning the company name, of course). You need a publicist.
So, I am "that girl" who has refreshed the comments page a few times and seen the number comments and love continue to grow.
Meg I'm not even exaggerating when I tell you that your blog is literally what has kept me from going over the edge at my own job. So much so that I went back and re-read nearly three years worth of your blogs and laughed hysterically/inappropriately the whole time.
Bottom line: you are fabulous, and I'll keep crossing my fingers for both a Jager endorsement and a book deal to come through for you. There's a whole contingent of readers up in Boston who want to take you for drinks if you ever make it up here!
Is it weird that I'm jealous?
I think all you need is that entry outlining the sexual harassment you deal with from Senior Management!
If you're still being sober this month, I'll take a shot of Jager for you tonight!..Or even just because
You rock Meg!! The 2b1b community will come out and celebrate with you! Just tell us when and where!!
NO REGRETS! I think its your new battle call.
i wish my boss would find the shit i wrote. now that's justice. ha!
boss #1 and #2 don't have a case. unless they want to admit to all of their idiocy under oath.
the conclusion to RTHCW is anti-climatic. but russell doing a "leather daddy named Hoss" was epic!
Ok, did they hint that they may sue? I wouldn't worry too much about it. I read something on some news website not long ago about a girl who started a "my teacher is a bitch, blah blah blah" group on Facebook about one teacher in particular at her school. Named her and everything. She got suspended because of it. She's out of school now, but a lawyer has taken her case and they have sued the school. My point is....they can't do that. Freedom of speech and all that jazz.
Anyway, I'm sorry you're having to deal with this, but you deserve so much better! FOOK those guys!
Even though I don't know you and we haven't met, reading your blog is like hearing from an eccentric friend on a daily basis. Keep it up! Like a previous poster said, if they chose to sue, let them. No publicity is bad publicity!
A) we love you!
B) I second the comments of everyone who posted above about how FUCKING AWESOME it is to picture the faces of Boss #1 and Boss #2 reading back through all your past posts. Hee-larious.
C) We love you! (again)
Meg, you make my day every day and also make the people I work with think I'm crazy or have some weird disease because I'm consistently trying to not laugh out loud when I read your posts. Keep it coming because you have the support of the entire 2b1b army!
Long live 2b1b!
For anyone that doesn't have Twitter, you can follow tweets to / about it here:
http://www.google.com/search?q=2birds1blog&hl=en&safe=off&client=firefox-a&sa=G&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&tbs=mbl:1&tbo=u&ei=ZNOGS6SMMsXY8Abv94C7Dw&oi=realtime_result_group_more_results_link&ct=title&resnum=4&ved=0CCcQ5QUwAw
Meg - you are my inspiration on a daily basis. I look forward to reading your blog every single day and I'm so glad that getting fired won't keep you from blogging.
That being said, I'm sorry to hear you got fired, but only because we will no longer get to hear horrifying stories about Boss#1 and Boss#2 and Russell the Gay Homophobic CoWorker.
As I started to read people's comments about you needing a publicist and all that, I started thinking that you could totally turn this blog into a Sex & the City-esque HBO Series, only it's hilarious...and not about sex...or NYC. So it's really NOTHING like SatC except for the fact that you and "Carrie Bradshaw" are both writers, and that I think HBO should make a show out of your blog. I see potential...
Make it happen.
GOOD FOR YOU MEG! Have another Jager Ball to celebrate! This time my friends and I will clear our schedules and be there full force, ready to drink our body weight in Jager bombs!!
What really tickles me is the idea of the bosses reading about themselves and their families again and again over the next couple of weeks/months/years!
Cause I'm sure they're gonna want to tell their friends about it, but how do you really share your indignation about being written about on a blog when the things written about you are so RAW! Like, what is Boss #1 gonna do, turn to her bff and say "Can you believe what she wrote about my cooter?!?!" Cause if bff isn't an idiot she's going to say, "Well why did you tell her so much about your cooter? It's not like she read your diary - you volunteered it!"
Stay strong in the struggle Meggles!
In case you don't know, you're getting fired made We Love DC: http://www.welovedc.com/2010/02/25/local-blogger-fired-for-her-blog/
jagerball part deux?
getting fired will make you famous!
love you meg!
Hold on, are you *actually* getting sued? Apparently We Love DC has your legal counsel already arranged.
Eff those bitches, FUNENPLOYMENT time! Its time for you to catch up on some serious daytime reality tv. I'm only sorry that this will probably lead to more cover letter writing. Which I hate more than you do...so...there's that. But I'm SO relieved you're not going to up and quit blogging. I was ready to stage a booze filled protest in DC with burning computers and Meghan McBloger songs!
on a side note, I just found out there is a town in NY called Voorheesville
The blag community is vurrrry mischievous, and your supporters are DUH-VOUT. I hope those dirty slags realize that revealing their identities in a publicly filed lawsuit would only mobilize a ton of 20somethings to wreak absolute havoc on their business and lives. Doesn't one of them have a daughter in high school? "Hey buttface, I read ALL ABOUT YOUR MOMZ VAGINAL BLEEDING LOALZ ENJOY HAVING YOUR SOCIAL LIFE RUINED!" I can just hear the teas0rz in the school cafeteria now. I really don't think you need to worry about any suit being brought against you for this. Just continue to hold their anonymity over their dirty slimy heads.
If you promise to never change and always be the most incredible blog ever, I will do everything in my until we get you some income for this blog so that you can update every 5 seconds ( hehe i wish)... my roomie and I discovered your blog way back and literally discuss you daily. LOVING YOU
If Tucker Max can get a book deal and a movie off of his blog where he clearly showcased his Explosive Diarrhea you totally deserve it more than he does
I'm sorry you might be getting sued, but they don't have a leg to stand on in my opinion, so you should be fine there. Plus, now all those sweet unemployment checks can start rolling in, AND you'll get to be a part of the economic downturn in a real way.
Ok, I can't believe no one has mentioned this yet... and maybe it's because the guy is such a huge douche bag, and you're totally awesome... BUT
The guy who wrote "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell" (also responsible for the horrible movie that flopped) got a book deal and movie deal, because HE HAD A BLOG FIRST!!!! He wrote a story about Ms. Vermont (I believe), and then she sued for defamation (or something of the sort). He got a bunch of publicity b/c he was being sued, and THAT is how he got the book deal!!! This could actually be a really great thing for you.
Keep your head up. You obviously have tons of supporters! I'm with one of the earlier commenters, if they sue, make this as public as possible! Once they've file suit, it's public information anyway, so get it to news affiliates and see if you can blow this up into a good deal for yourself!
OMG!
With your new found free time you should take 2birds on the road for a JAGERTOUR!
I know three ladies in Toronto who will take you out and get you t-rashed for making us laugh every day!
Ok so someone mentioned Tucker Max before I refreshed the page to check. Whatevs. I stand by the post! Good luck!
Dear Meg,
You rock. Way to stick it to the man. Or rather, the stuck=pig bleeding wo-MEN you used to work for. We're all here for you and we WILL make you rich and famous because you deserve the best!
Dear Boss #1 and Boss #2,
Hi there. We know you're there. We also don't know who you are, where you are, who your company is or what you do. Therefore, you'd be best off to just take this with a chuckle and let it go. Trust, you do NOT want the wrath of the readers of this blog or the media or the lawyers that will big fat counter-sue your company for sexual harassment. So, just go on home, get a clean tampon or twelve, a bottle of scotch and RELAX. You'll feel better. K? Bye now.
Meg, you totally rock my face off. Once I was hooked, I went back to the very first post and read all the way thru. You are one of the funniest people I've ever read in my entire life since the beginning of time. And, you're RELATABLE! Keep your chin up, I'm sending good vibes your way. I'm telling everyone I know about this blog. Spanks for being you!
damn, I can't believe they found it.
but you are awesome, and have made me laugh everyday for the past...forever, and you have totally gotten me through some very boring work days.
anyways...you are a hilarious and talented writer, and i think your future looks totally bright.
I vote for an anthology of posts to remember your time there!
oh em geeee. the suspense this morning after i heard you were fired, but no post!!!!
concur w/everyone on: the frivolous potential lawsuit doesn't have a leg to stand on; would LOVE to be a fly on the wall watching everyone read about themselves; and NEED MORE DETAILS about the firing!!!
2b1b is my lunch dessert- i save the best for last and read it right after lunch every day at work. it starts my afternoons off right :)
WOW you are so lucky to have parents like that! I'm the kiss of death at employment places and have been though lay-offs TWICE. All the people who got laid off are much better off now. I think you are much better than the job you had. Although I will be sad to loose a fellow college-educated, glorified receptionist making friends with the night mice.
Also, I think you can really market yourself after what happened. When your future book comes out, in your biography, please PLEASE say Meghan McBlogger was fired from her job at **** for an anonymous blog talking shit about all her coworkers. I think that's one of the best stories ever, and people will remember that and then buy your book. Hire me as your publicist, see I'm brilliant!
Good luck hun!
1. absolutely love you & 2b1b (duh) and obvi support you in your endeavors to get financial support/jager endorsement/a new job. sorry 'bout the firing, but really only because you will no long have constant material feeding into your life.
2. HOW DID THEY FIND THE BLOG?
3. ...will they keep reading? I really picture boss #1 & boss #2 sitting at work, papers piling up, brochures not being made, shit never getting done (because you're gone!) while reading your blog incessantly. how could they not?? come on now.
lots of love. keep us updated!
Stay strong, stay blogging! I wait on Google reader all day for the moment of pure, unadulterated joy – 2birds1blog (1). New Post! You're an inspiration to all 20something- a pantsless zeitgeist.
Wow! You're a real live Harriet the Spy! (DGF??)
Did someone kick open your macbook during a rousing game of hide and go seek?? IS THAT HOW THEY FOUND OUT??
Lord knows we all know Boss #'s 1 & 2 have difficulty turning ON a computer, never mind navigating the dangerous paths of the interwebz.
Holy Hell, Meg. I *guess* I'm happy for you? Well, if you're happy...
Congrats on how it went down, though. :) Since it does appear (via WeLoveDC) that your possible upcoming legal troubles could be taken care of, that helps.
Consider me as another in the rising voice of the "JagerBall part deux" camp.
You rock.
I've been fired before (from a job I also hated), and trust me, it will be the best thing that ever happened to you. Trust me!
Your blog is the funniest thing I read every day - keep it up!
One day, when you're absurdly rich & famous from any one of these brilliant ideas, all of us here are going to refer back to today as proof of our superior love & fanhood. We'll be all "Remember when Meg lost her crummy job over the blog?" "Lolz, yeah, I was there for that. Those were the days." and new fans will stare at us in awe of the fact that we read you before you were paid to write.
<3
Dearest Meg,
This post verifies that we've been living the exact same lives, only on different coasts. We were both unemployed at the same time, we both got shitty jobs, and we both got fired from said shitty jobs in the last seven days.
AND I don't give a flying fuckity fuck this time. We've been through this before, right? I laugh in the face of uncertainty. I fucking punch uncertainty in its big pimply smug face (too much?). We're not 23-year-olds where unemployment throws us into an existential crisis anymore; now we're almost-25-year-olds that are unemployed and WORK IT. Out of a job and proud of it, baby.
In conclusion, my unemployment just became that much better knowing that you're wallowing in it with me over there on the Atlantic side. Now please excuse me, I'm going to buy a ukulele and practice my future as a street musician (not joking in the least).
Snarkily Yours,
HartFart
Not that I think being sued is going to hurt you by any means, but as I'm sure B1 & B2's own lawyer will undoubtfully tell them, they have to be able to prove that any supposidly slanderous remarks have cost the company business, or potential business. Hell, I'd do business with your former company just to do business with you ... but would probably be dissuaded by the bloody snail trail left my B1's snatch.
I have not done any work for the last 3 hours because i am completely glued to your blog/watching to see if you become a twitter trending topic
You were way to cool for them anyway. If boss #1 and boss #2 sue you should just tell them great cause then you can use their real names now... Love and support!
Oh, Meggles, you're amazing. This is going to lead only to bigger and more amazing things for you, it's obvious. When you're getting married to That Guy From Anthony Bourdain's Show at a Jagermeister-sponsored wedding officiated by Larry Hagman with Snooki as a flower girl, this will all seem but a speck of memory in the realms of infinity.
All my love and all good luck!
It's sad I keep switching from Twitter to here to see the new comments and if 2b1b is a trending topic.
I'm all in favor of Jager Ball II!!!!
Meg,
Long time reader, first time commenter. And like everyone I just wanted to show some love & support, you really are the best. To say that the blog makes me day is a gross understatement, its by far the highlight.
And also supper excited about the awesome posts that will come from Jaeger filled nights now that you and Co-Blogger Chris are (soon to be) Funemployed and back together in the DC area.
Love you, love the blog. And I can't wait to see what is going to happen next for you!
I've had a hankering for Jager basically ever since I found your blog (right after Jagerball) ... perhaps we should start a #Jager @2birds1blog twitter trend describing your endorsements...
I'm also equally unemployed in the DC area, but my friend told me to try thechoiceinc.com for temp to hire (she and a few of her friends have gotten hired through them?) No, I don't work for them/nor do I know if they would actually talk to me (statement of interest in open on my desktop to be filled out) - and if they don't reply to me, I take back this semi-endorsement, but ....it exists?
Have fun drinking tonight!
RE Rosalyn: try Elite Personnel. They got me an amazing job in DC within 2 weeks
Congratulations Meg! So exciting! You will go far! But I am going to miss the posts about Boss #1 and Boss #2, I mean there won't be any more awkward business trips! I miss your job already, lol!
TB
Defamation, plaintiff has the burden of proving all the elements before a real defense even needs to be made by Meg. The company and bosses #1&2 will have to show 1)the statement was false and defamatory (proving that she said the bleeding snatch stuff is a he said/she said argument the court really hates to deal with); 2) the comment was published (which is true); 3) resulting harm (there has to be loss of reputation on the business's or the person's part--no one knew who they were, so how could they disassociate from them due to the blog???); and 4) causation (must prove that YOUR words are what actually caused them to lose business or for people to regard them as less respectible personally--again, hard to prove, since she did not imply the identity of anyone outside Russel. But you could put Russel in any work situation. Hell--I had a Russel, but his name was Sam.)
Find someone that will support u pro bono. One of your readers HAS to know a good attorney. Or at least knows someone, who knows someone.
I AM SO OBSESSED WITH YOU. I have read each and every post, sent it to all of my friends on a daily basis, communicate with my BFFs using "an" 's, blanywayses, zack morris time outs, !!!!!!1's, and more Meggles vernacular. You've improved my life by ten thousand percent. That is all. Please write books asap. Also it might be time to sell some advertising on 2b1b, that's where the $$$ is. OREGON LOVES YOU.
Karly, that's a good idea, maybe 2b1b can get advertisers to fill the side margins of the site. Put a hit counter on the site, and get paid per hit. Don't know if that would work... but maybe???
dear meg,
you are seriously an inspiration. i love your blog and it seriously keeps me going every day. thank you for everything you do...
karma's a bitch boss 1 and 2!
AHH! Welcome to the fired for their blog club. It's small, cozy and broke. Your hobo bindle is waiting for you.
Um, so speaking of something else, want to start a business together?
But seriously, we should day-time drink together.
Marissa
Maybe a little cheesy, but totes fits your situation and all you can do with this new freedom! http://www.lemonademovie.com/
Meg!
You are amazing.
i'm sorry there is nothing I can do as I live in New Zealand but i'll be drinking jager tonight!!
MEGGELS! You really got the axe! That is tits!And shitty if your land lord wants rent and all that shit. But at the end of the day homeless people make it on the streets. Your always welcome at my house my room mate and I love you. And she reads your post to her boyfriend ...so I am sure he loves you by proxy. Last year I posted a rant on craiglist about the company I worked for (a cable company that shall remain nameless) and someone read it and thought it was highly insensative because I called our customers whores, sluts, and every other fucking curse I could think of. And then I called the "company" a few choice words as well. When it was emailed in they launched a huuuuge witch hunt becasue they thought that whomever did it was dumb enough to do this at work. I still have my job. Sadly someone else lost theres because of inproper use of the internet as it turns out this other guy had printed a 200 page Dungens and Dragons something....I have no idea why I told you this. My thoughts are with you !!! Mike-Iowa
you know your bosses are assholes when your parents agree with you. The first thing my mom said to me when I got fired from my shitty retail job last year (basically for being snarkey) was: you're just mad cause you didn't get to quit. And she was right.
Really, I think the loss here is that Boss#1&2 didn't get to realize how very hilarious you actually are until it was too late. Cause there is no way they can read this entire blog without laughing, its just not possible.
You are my hero. This blog is the frigging highlight of my afternoon and I think you will get a book deal soon. It's a sin that you don't have one already.
Meg,
Just want to show some support! Your blog makes my day, everyday. You HAVE to get a book deal out of this, and more than that you deserve it!!
I thought America was all about the 'freedom of speech'. How can they fire you? Where is the evidence?! Oh the injustice.
I agree with everyone else, write a book! This fellow blogger received money from fans before she even finished her book. (Side note: she lost her job and started an Etsy store). Regardless, I feel like you have far more followers than her. So get a writin' and think about how great a chapter on this mysterious firing would be!
vo
I firmly believe there should be a Jagerball part deux in honor of the end of this particular era... and since you're unemployeed, your faithful followers will have no choice but to buy you lots of booze and get you rull wasted.
Consider it.
<3 2b1b!!
You'll be onto bigger and better things in no time. If the movie and book deals don't work out quickly enough, see if TheFrisky.com (my other favorite entertainer) is hiring more writers (I actually emailed them earlier in the week telling them to hire you- hope you don't mind!)
Good luck!
I find it hilarious and ironic that they want to sue you for defamation. it's especially amusing because they're only going to bring on this supposed loss of reputation by suing you for defamation. it's not like anybody who (somehow) thought highly of them is also biffles with you and read your blog. and since you never named them by name, no one was ever actually going to know. unless they make it public record in a court case. BRILLIANT.
(I'm totally ripping off my friend's phrase here) but maybe I can't brain today because I've caught the Dumb. BUT...you were fired for BLOGGING? Had you signed something saying you wouldn't post your thoughts to the world?
Did they actually have anything to say about your job performance? Ugh. It sounded like the job from hell, anonymous though it may have been, but I'm still incensed on your behalf. Fat lot of good it does, but still. I feel bad for benefiting from your snark if it's made you unemployed.
Yay - Meg is FREEEEE!
I got fired December of 2009, took six months off just figuring shit out and now I have my dream job. Guess what? I get paid to Yelp, Twitter, blog and Facebook and you're like 1000x more talented than me, so you'll end up with something even more awesome.
If I spot you at the Hunt, drinks on me. Totally willing to help you out in any way.
dude, you ARE saving the mid-morning! if dooce can do it, so can you.
and please PLEASE start a podcast. i will listen to it on the subway and laugh out loud and make everyone uncomfortable.
Awww, I love seeing the whole 2B1B community support you right now. I LOVE US. And you too, of course.
Like everyone else, I vote for a Jäger Ball Part 2. Time to celebrate unemployment!
And I might actually be able to come to it this time. Unless I find a job and then can't go. Which would be weirdly ironic or something.
You bring a serious amount and joy to all of our lives, which is very obvious. Stay strong and keep the snarky comments coming.
Jager Ball 2!!! Jager Ball 2!!!
so.many.unanswered.questions.
How did they find the blog? What did they say? What was your grand exit like? Thank god you have unemployment time to answer all these questions! I bet you Boss1&2 are going to be kicking themselves when you're rich and famous. I know you're going through detox and all, but I think it's time to quit that and let's have jagerball2 in celebration!
2birds1ROADTRIP! A Jaegerball tour of sorts.
Dude. Props. Big time, both for your awesome blog and for keeping your shit together and realizing that a job where you are used and abused is just not worth it. Good luck out there.
how did they find out?!
Meg, you're amazing and have so much to be proud of. Keep it up!
Don't worry, they can't sue you unless what you wrote was knowingly false or in complete disregard of the truth...so as long as Russel isn't really Russel the out and proud coworker you should be in the clear!
This is boss #1.....don't fuck with me
I can't believe no one else has mentioned this yet, but is it time to bring back Drunk Monument Tours as a viable income possibility?
Are you serious Anonymous hater?
You are an inspiration! We could always use some of your sass up here in Canada....we're really nice, I promise.
Why is Justin Beiber always a trending topic? who the hell cares about him? everyone who reads this needs to #2birds1blog all over twitter. DO IT. NOW.
meghan, this is boss #2...We can share more sex secrets later. please stop calling Russ a fag.
You are fabulous dearheart, and this is the best thing that could ever have happened to you. They were great material, but ultimately just holding you back. Imagine what fodder you will gain from dealing with the circus that is unemployment...
I am going to start a preemptive "Free Meg McBlogger" movement, you know...just in case.
I kind of can't believe this (well, that's not true, but whatevs)! My own co-blogger-Chris-esque friend, Karly, texted me in class to tell me "MEG GOT FIRED!!!!!!!!1" and let me tell you, it was hard to explain away my dramatic gasp in the middle of my Austen class. Struggle.
Blanyways, maybe now you'll get a book deal!
Let us know if there's anything you need at all, be it some jäger, an "i fist-pump the jersey shore" t-shirt, or a picture of my leftover 2birds stickers stuck somewhere inappropriate.
Your Oregon readers love you!
I've never commented before, but you should know that reading 2birds1blog is always a highlight in my day. Next Jägerball, karly and I will be trekkin our way to the east coast, believe me.
And I CAN'T WAIT for live blogging from the courtroom.
-Casey
I am waiting on pins and needles to see how they found out about the blog!! If you can't make rent you can totes come to mah city and hang out with me and laugh at me suffering through my own glorified receptionist job. I'll buy you beer!
I LOVE this blog and the entire 2b1b army. Strength in numbers! No one messes with Meg (or Chris, for that matter).
I received an email from my cube neighbor. Subject Line: Oh NO! then he spoke over the cube wall, K this email is very important, I opened it immediately because he would only say this to me if he had something deliciously cutting to share with me. Contents of message:
BOSS #1 AND BOSS #2 FOUND THE BLOG AND FIRED MEEEEEEEEEEG!
This was passed on to me 4th hand in Seattle, so feel proud that you have built a wide reaching, devoted audience. As Gloria Gaynor says "I (megan mcblogger) will survive"
Peace out!
Just wanted to let you know that I 100% agree with what everyone is saying and your army of fans loves you. Thanks for all the insightful DC commentary - don't know what I'd do without your blog.
I love you more than life itself.
Leave it to DC to fire the best and wittiest. I was fired as well from a stupid job where I wasn't paid nearly enough and worked my ass off. My boss didn't even give me a good reason, she did it because she was insecure as I was more popular then her (didn't try to be), picked up more guys then her (not intentionally picking guys up, mind you..) and she couldn't figure out why, since I'm not as pretty or as high maintenance as she was.
And now, I live in Philadelphia with a great apartment and I'm starting my own business as a fashion photographer. You'll be just fine, Megan. I'm proud of you too :)
Meg, I'm the fan that showed up to Jagerball ALONE, and I don't even drink! Just reminding you of how much of an impression your blog has made on so many people. So, "hear, hear" to all the supportive comments above mine!
MEGGGGGG!! I am SO happy for you. Now you can REALLY follow your hopes and dreams, and finally get paid for your wit! F Boss #1 & Boss #2! Assholes.
Whaaaat how did they find it? Please go into further detail!! Oh, and sue you my ass its called free speech baby! Team Meg!
Can we buy stickers? T-shirts? Anything to help support the 2B1B fund?
Book Deal here you come.
also look into laws applying to parody writing. If they try and sue you can probably make a pretty strong argument for that. Since you are a "writer" you enter into the field of arts law, in which parody is protected under the Copyright law of 1976. courtesy of arts management education
this is unbelievable and believable all at the same time. i can't even imagine what boss #1 & #2 are thinking..ha.
glad to hear the blogging will continue :) maybe now you can adventure around to all of d.c. you haven't explored.
I haven't read all of the comments yet, but I just wanted to say - CONGRATUFUCKINLATIONS. When I quit my old job, I got a book deal. The world works like that. I'm proud of you too, and I'm just glad you didn't outright quit because now (hopefully?) you can collect severance.
I'd just love to see them sue you because then it would become public record and THEN all of the stuff you've written about them would be identifiable. Oh, and they'd lose. Just talked to my attorney-in-training husband about it. He knows these things.
Meg! I've been reading your blog ever since my bff said "T, there is this girl that blogs in DC who was just like us when we were that age". So, not to date myself or anything (oh wait, too late) but I was you 5 years ago! And don't let this get you down...there are lots of "fired because of my blog but went on to do something WAY better" stories out there...just look at that slutty Washingtonienne chick!
Im really happy for you Meg but I'm worried you're taking it a little to well. It's cool to be pissed they both seemed like assholes and if they insinuated that they were going to sue you then they might also be retarded. feel better and keep the blog alive for all of us.
I'm adding my support to all the 139 other people who loved you enough to comment. I heart you and the blog and I'm happy you have amazing parents and don't have to put up with your hideous job of 'whipping girl' anymore. Any day now 2010 is going to start improving!
I just want to add my support! I discovered your blog maybe 2 months ago and I have to stifle my laughter at my soul-sucking job.
like others have said, i think the worst part is losing all hilarious stories. keep it up though because every new post is the highlight of my workday!
when i first found your blog i spent the better part of 2 days reading every post and it makes me sad you don't live in ny anymore because i'd love to sit down and have a drink (or 7) with you...maybe it's time to use your new found freedom for a visit. just sayin
DETAILS, WOMAN.
WOAH! WOAH! You officially got Dooced. I assume that means you're on the same road to greatness. So glad you're met with such support. Obviously, you have far better places to be. Though will you ever have as much blog fodder ever again? Way to stay positive, and I know this will be a catalyst for something awesome for you. Put that Yaeger tap to work tonight, grrrrrl.
wait, i dont understand, how did they find the blog?
IT'S LIKE THE SWEEPS WEEK OF BLOG COMMENTS.
I mean hi I love your blog congrats on your recent freedom.
But seriously, holy coincidence Batmeg!
read the first comment left on the post about your first business trip.....
2b1b = my favorite blog. EVER. hands down. and obviously i'm not the only one. soooo on team Meg McBlogger.
1. This is good for you.
2. Let 'em think of what they did, that you only reported anonymously. They wanna sue you? Let 'em die of embarrassment when all of it's read in to the public court record with their name all over it. The 2B1B army will be there drown out their cries with our laughter.
We got your back Meggles.
I tip my hat and raise my glass to you.
Just stopping by to say that we love you and your life is going to be infinitely better without those assholes in it. You got this. Don't forget to defer your student loans! Financial hardship is a girl's best friend.
I'm positive you can manage to get a hug from John McCain out of all of this.
Ok, so I don't know you but my reaction was dead-set one of pure shock and horror. I was like "OMG YOU GOT FIRED! OH SHIT! OH SHIT!"
But you seem to be taking it...well... I have to say though; I will miss Russell. At least you will always have the fact you are hilarious on your side. MANY THINGS COME FROM FUNNY.
You, girl, are awesome! And you're being so positive about this. NOW you can finally start the ghost tour operation and fulfill your lifelong dreams instead of being stuck hanging out with a stuck pig and a homophobic priest!
I see both Tucker Max and the Washingtonienne (Jessica Cutler) have already been referenced, but if they can get a book deal you can too. Good luck!
I'm not a lawyer buuuuuuuut I'm not convinced they have any sort of defamation case here. You never named the company and you never named your bosses in a way that could be easily identifiable.
However, if they make themselves known, they will have a whole 2b1b army after them. Their choice!
Meg, I can't believe you got fired! I agree with everyone else's comments: you should totes have Jagerball part 2, and please give us some details on how they found the blog.
What everyone else said.
Love the blog, Boss #1 and 2 and go suck a bag of dicks.
You have the support of all your fans, just tell us what to do!
I LOVE your blog and have been reading it for about a year now. It's definitely about all that helps me make it through my work day and I've gotten some of my co-workers hooked too. Sorry you got fired, but I can't wait to see what you're gonna do now! I know it'll be uh-mazing! <3
What everyone else said... love you, love the blog, here for you, bosses don't have a legal leg to stand on!
I can't believe they found it! Do you think you could get in trouble for using company resources to write the blog (the computer) on company time? I would hate to see them try to claim "ownership" to your blog because it was written on their computer. Can they even do that? That's the only thing I am worried about for you right now. I'm excited for you and the start of this new chapter in your life. Viva Meg!!!
http://www.statinternet.com/domain/2birds1blog.com
I just have to say that I dont think Ive ever seen so many comments on any post.....on any blog.
but this isn't any blog - its 2b1b :)
meg, do you see what kind of fan base you have? you're destined for greatness!
Back to say, I went to the beginning of the blog, and this is one of the first sentences you ever wrote:
"First we should address that there is a certain level of anonymity to our blog, seeing how Eddie may one day be President and I...well I plan on spending a large portion of my blogging gossiping about how recockulous the magazine I work for is, and I really don't want to get fired."
Meg...you may have been off a couple jobs, but GOD YOUR FORESHADOWING!
this shit is too much to handle…it's like the second coming of Blog-dom—i knew it would have to happen and yet at the same time i never thought it would!! i'm so happy right now! for you!! haha, maybe this will blow up into a huge scandal and you'll get multi-book deals
oh meg…possibly the most epic post ever, yet executed with the cool calm of the insane
xoxoxoxo, your army of fans will always have your back
I don't know know if you've heard...but the government is hiring! Seriously though. I arrive late, read blogs all day, take a long lunch, leave early, and then collect my taxpayer-funded paycheck. USAJobs.gov. It's where it's at.
aughhhh i just got off work and have been up for 20 hours and ready to pass out. but guess what i am going to do? twitter about 2birds1blog and re read boss #1 and #2 posts so i can be an armed and ready 2birds1blog soldier!!!!!1
<3jen
So my friend just told me about this blog telling me it was absolutely hysterical and that I must start reading it. This is the first entry I read, and while I am sorry that you got fired...I did laugh the entire way through the entry! So, you have another loyal reader to follow you through whatever comes next in your life. I hope it's not a trial...but good luck and I'll be looking forward to your next entry!
Oh My God. I just saw on Twitter, and gasped so loudly that my girlfriend came over and read over my shoulder as I frantically headed to the blog to find out what happened. I said something like, "Oh Noes, Meg got fired!" As if I actually know you in real life. Crazy.
Anyway, fuck them. Attempting to sue you would be like attempting to sue anyone who bitched to a large group of friends, in a bar, about their shitty job. Yeah, good luck with that, bosses.
Meh... wouldn't worry about lawsuits.
gaaaah. get rid of that anonymous comment meg! wake up! its 9AM and you're unemployed and its SNOWING so that goes against all the rules but i wish i had your number so i could call you and say aaaaaaah get rid of that anonymous comment! AHHHH!
Whoa, someone totally outed you.
Im considering joining twitter just for 2b1b... Indiana Loves you!!!!
Dear Jager-
Better jump on the Meggles train before someone else gets hold of it first.
I know that my Jager purchases have increased by like 95% since reading this blog. However, if some less quality sponsor nabs 2b1b, I won't hesitate to put my hard earned money elsewhere. Even if its something awful like Smirnoff Raspberry. And no one wants to drink that shit anymore.
Get that 2b1b army loyalty before its too late!
Love,
Lisa
Yo Anonymous...It is out of line. What the hell is wrong with you? Don't out her!!
Oh man...I sure hope Meg wakes up from her drunken stupor so she can delete that wanker's comments! What the hell dude?!?
20 bucks its boss #1!!
I had the same thoughts about it being Boss #1! Look lady...pull the three day old tampon out of your twat and go get a life! Geez...
Meggles, you can do soooooooo much better than working at a company that sells ugly wooden office furniture. You honestly should post your real resume on here so that we can help you find a job that uses your talents. You have experience in both the art galleries and publishing and are a great graphic designer - I'm sure one of your fans can find you a job in one of those fields
Dear anonymous outter... no it doesn't. I tried it. Brings up lots of other random people, but nothing about 2b1b. Not on my google anyway! good try though.
Two brilliant money-making ideas:
1. 2birds1blog bathrobes that people can wear backwards and without a belt.
2. Paper clips that stick to the magnetic part of laptops that are given names and personalities by Meg McBlogger.
I would buy both of these things.
Sooo I think my almost-lawyer boyfriend missed the point of this whole story, cause he keeps saying, "They can't sue her! That is ridiculous. I mean, do they know how the law works!? Nothing she said can be considered defamation...." Typical lawyers...That said...If you want a 2L to represent you, he is chompin' at the bit to fuck shit up (in the good way) soooo you got that goin' for you...which is nice...
Whoa...dear Anonymous. Yes that was very out of line. Not cool. Dear everyone else, please keep that under your hats. If you do not have a hat, please invest in one to keep said comment under it.
I can't believe they finally caught on! Sorry it had to end this way with them, but at least you didnt miss the end of RTHCW. This will all work out! Keep us updated!!
Long Live 2birds!!!
184 Comments? Insane! This proves how much we love you and the blog. I mean, I didn't even know who Larry Hagman was and now I'm on the edge of my seat each Friday to see if he's still alive and kicking.
I say Suck it Boss #1 and #2 (we know you're reading) I don't know who you are or where you are but I wish I did b/c I think the 2b1b army would probably egg your building or fill it with broken Jager bottles and Depends.
Meg - Come to Atlanta. We don't have Metro but we have Marta, bike messengers, and the Jager flows freely :-)
1. If I was out of law school I would definitely do this one pro-bono.
2. How did they find it?
Great success! I just talked to my husband, also a lawyer, and he said they don't have any grounds to sue you. I mean, well...they *can* sue you, but they won't win. The only way they'd have grounds to take you to court is if you lied about something. But obvs. we all know Meghan C McBlogger does not lie. I also asked him, (just to be triple sure) can they sue her for being too awesome? Because then, my friend, you're effed.
Can I please teleport back in time to see their faces when they read that post you wrote in the summer about the conference and the hotel room and the oversharing?! PLEASE?!?!
Meg you are wonderful and I heart your blog so much!!! Give us more details when you think you can.
I feel like you might be really upset, but acting like you're not. Can you give more details about the convo? What did they say about the blog? This has been something you've been anticipating/dreading/looking forward to for a very long time, and all that you say they said is "Boss #1 is upset"?
You have a great attitude about all this, but you can be honest with us!
Totally worth getting fired! Good for you! I think you guys are awesome.
The good thing is now you are ready for the book and movie deal. This is the BEST blog out there!!!!!!
Oh my god. I can't believe you got fired. Bosses 1 & 2 were such good joke fodder! I don't actually know you (duh?) but I feel like internet stalking you via this sweet sweet blog makes us one-way-friends so I feel pretty bummed for you. If they sue, I don't have any lawyers or anything to offer, but if you can move quick, I'll take you to downtown Vancouver to get Olympics drunk. And that is DRUNK. You won't even remember who is suing for what!
I'm a little late in the comment department and this may have already been said (can't really wade through 192 of these things) so sorry if this has already been said.
For one - my law student friend says you can only sue for defamation of character if its a lie. Even the "homophobic coworker" is an opinion statement that is difficult to prove.
For two - its a strange but awesome thing that I was sitting in my apt and my roommate says "Oh no! Megan got fired!" (I hadn't read this post yet) and we talk about you as if we know you. And we're all "good for her!" and "I dont even know where she works no way can they sue her!" and I call my law student friend to ask about you.
Creepy? maybe. Nice too. Comment 193 of support!
My boyfriend is in the movie business. The URL to 2Birds1Blog is currently in his inbox with the subject line, "Your next movie."
That's how much I love you. Congrats on getting axed...and I promise, it can only get better from here! Hope your hangover is better, if so, I think it might be time to start drinking again!
Meg- I am going to submit your story to Washington Post. The second that the firm files suit, their names will be in the paper. This would be the final blow to Boss #1 and Boss #2 - to be exposed...I think this makes an excellent case study for blogging about the workplace. Maybe Jager can sponsor your lawyers? Or at least provide booze for the trial after party. In all honesty though, don't worry about getting sued. And if you do, I hope you take the case the case to Judge Judy. It would make great TV. Good luck!
YOU NEED A BOOK DEAL!!!! I would SOOOOOOOOOOOOO buy it the minute it came out!
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