Thoughts Chris Couldn't Flesh Out Into Full Entries

- I can't just assume that everyone else is as over-observant as I am. I learned this the hard way in college. I would see the same kid every time I was in the dining hall without fail for 3 months straight. Maybe I noticed him because he looked like a bizarro-world version of our friend Alex, but nonetheless, he was always there. And then one day, we ended up at the same party and with a few Busch Lights to back me up, I said something like "ZOMG! You're the kid I always see! Do you know who I am?" To which I received, crickets, tumbleweeds, and a raised "Who is this crazy person?" eyebrow.

- Who decided it was a good idea to use sirens in the background of songs? One minute you're driving down the highway casually listening to some jams, then next minute Beyonce's "Ring the Alarm" comes on, but you instinctively turn down the radio and prairie dog it trying to figure out where the siren is coming from.

- If I ever go invisible on Gchat, it's supposed to make me more productive. People won't message me, therefore I won't be chatting, therefore I will do more work. Why, then, do I always end up messaging even more people? Who am I trying to fool?

- When you're in kindergarten and your teacher asks you want you want to be when you grow up, I would be willing to bet good money no one ever pictured themselves as a doctor in their 50s, about to retire. Or a seasoned police officer, who had been hurt on the job and will have a steady pension in a few years. Or a washed-up ballerina who can no longer dance, but teaches ballet at the local church on weeknights. Or John Glenn. Everyone's future career selves is probably somewhere in their mid- to late-20's and fiercely hot.

- What bothers me most about Lady Gaga isn't her ridiculous costumes or her inflated sense of self-worth or her terrible acting skills. It's that her desire to be famous is so transparent. Nearly half of the songs on her album are about fame, being famous, getting famous, wanting to be famous. Is that all it takes these days? Just the will of a champion and the ability to menstruate from your chest? To her credit, at least Lady Gaga can keep you entertained. Whether she's wearing a giant metal gyroscope or a dress made out of bubbles, you can't help but pay attention because it's fascinating.

- There are lots of times during the course of a normal week where I want to compliment a total stranger. I think an unsolicited compliment can brighten up anyone's day. I haven't actually gone through with it yet, because knowing myself I'll fuck it up and end up with a restraining order. But seriously, if I were to stop some random girl on the street and say "You look beautiful," would I get a face full of mace?

- One thing I should have never done was to tell my family my intended plans for my life. Especially the fact that I plan to go to medical school one day. After being out of college for 2 years, the ability to self-motivate myself to actually get around to applications is fading fast. Unfortunately, my entire extended family is aware of my ultimate goal to become a doctor. This never sucked more than when my great-aunt told me at the last family get-together "I hope I live long enough to see you become a doctor." Talk about pressure. Is it wrong that part of me is hoping dementia sets in soon and she forgets who I am, let alone my intended goals?

- Meg and I were discussing how we got the same spam email with the subject "How to lick a chick out." I then told her how I get nothing but spam emails in my blog email account, including the recent email from a "nun" in a "mission" in "Spain." This spam email was entirely in Spanish but the gist of it was that if I provide this woman with my bank account, she will gladly fork over money that was left to her by a former orphan, but that she cannot accept because she took a vow of poverty. Which makes you wonder, if spam emails like this still exist, does that mean that there are people out there who still fall for them? If so, where is this collective rock these people have been living under that they do not understand that the internet is chock full o' scam artists?