The Great Juno Debate

My friend Andrew is one of my all-time favorite people ever. One of the things I enjoy most about him is that I'm able to be 100% unabashedly stupid around him and (to my knowledge) he doesn't think any less of me. And I don't mean stupid in a HAHA jokey jokey kind of way, I mean stupid in the most literal definition of the word: not intelligent. I come to Andrew not knowing about something and he talks to me like I'm simple country folk and breaks things down in a way that I can understand. He's like a walking _____ For Dummies book. If anybody else were to talk to me like this, I'd find it patronizing and offensive and probably deliver a swift kick to the groin. But for some reason when Andrew does it, I appreciate it and find it really, really soothing. So much of my day is spent pretending that I know what I'm talking about to save face at the office, so it's almost liberating to have someone that I can go to and be like, "I 'dun get it. Explain it to me all slow-like. GO!" and not feel stupid about it.

The other night Andrew and I were eating Greek, drinking some wine and watching Juno, as you do, when we got into a disagreement over the nature of Juno and Mark's relationship. Specifically whether or not Mark had concrete plans to bang out Juno after leaving Vanessa. I understand that their relationship is supposed to be innapropriate either way you look at it, but I don't think that Mark had any real intentions of crossing that line with Juno. I think Juno symbolizes the life that Mark used to have and the compromises he made to be with Vanessa, so flirting with her is like flirting with the idea of regaining his individuality. But he's not explicitly attracted to Juno in a bang-around-the-clock kind of way.

Andrew, however, thinks that it's implied that Jason Bateman is sexually attracted to Juno and given the opportunity would have sex with her. And that's why he leaves his wife. To bang Juno. It's cut and dry. Jason Bateman + Juno = Bang Party '07.

There are two scenes that support Andrew's theory:
1.) When Juno comes over to the Loring's house, she asks if Vanessa's home and Mark replies, "no, "we're safe."
2.) Juno freaks out when Mark tells her that he's leaving Vanessa and Mark asks, "what exactly did you think was going on here?" or something to that effect.

I can see how these scenes would support Andrew's theory, however, I still think I'm right.
1.) I think he means "we're safe" in the sense that Vanessa's not home so they're safe to be their wacky, out-there selves, not safe to get up with the get down. Kind of like when my bosses aren't here I'm safe in the sense that I can shamelessly watch episodes of My So-Called Life and play Snood all day without having to pretend I'm actually doing work.
2.) Ok, yeah, that's sort of an incriminating line. However, I think Mark is just being like, "You always call me out for being a sell out. So I left my wife. And now you're shocked. What did you think was going to happen?" Right...?

Normally when Andrew tells me I'm wrong about something, I'm completely willing to accept it at face-value and assume he's right, but in this case, I kind of think that I'm right. I've been polling people on this issue for a few days now and I can't get a clear consensus. Everyone is torn. Thus, I thought I would poll you fine people. Kindly go here and vote. (You don't have to sign up for anything, I swear.*)

(*EDIT: Well fuck me, you do have to sign in. Feel free to leave your vote as a comment. That's what I get for trying to be all tech-savvy.)

Ahhh...it's been too long around here since our last Great Debate. You have until Wednesday at midnight to vote. (And creating that poll was a giant pain in the ass, so kindly take the time to vote. Kthnxbyeeee!)