“Another bird? Isn’t this like second bird #3? I don’t know if I can handle getting attached again?” I’d be skeptical too. But come on. You can trust me. You guys know me. Haven’t I been there every Monday for the past few weeks? I would never steer you wrong, faithful readers. I look forward to the opportunity to let you wade in the shallow end of the swimming pool of my brain.
Now, allow me to re-introduce myself. My name is Hov. Wait, no, that’s wrong. I forgot where I was for a second. However, I would like to take a page out of Jay-Z’s book (and also Sarah Palin by way of Amy Poehler). First, please watch the following. If you haven’t seen it before, welcome to life outside of that rock you’ve been living under.
My name’s Chris McBloggy and you all know me
Recapper extrordinaire of Whitney Port’s City
Now I’m here to write, about more than Whitney
Can I get a “what what” if you readers feel me.
Don’t got much experience, but I got style
My grasp of pop culture extends for miles
But sometimes it’s creepy, like when I watch Disney
And my dream bout the day Miley finally meets me.
How I’m doin so far? (Kinda blow!)
Who knew rapping was so hard? (Coolio)
Few more verses to go, (Let’s go)
Sorry if this becomes a shitshow. (Total show)
Call me Bird Number Two
Cuz tonight I start writing
About all kinds of things
Like celebrity sightings
Meg and I on this blogging site
A match made in heaven, it just feels so right.
In Manhattan,
My days fill, baby fill up
With stories I can share
To thrill, baby, thrill ya.
I’ll try to make you laugh
When I fulfill my half
Of writing posts
All the readers in the house put your hands up,
All the readers in the house put your hands up,
All the bloggers in the house put your hands up,
All the bloggers in the house put your hands up!
When I say "2birds" you say "1Blog!"
2Birds!
1Blog!
2birds!
1Blog!
I’m writing this rap but it ain’t going nowhere! (Ooooooo!!)
We are two birds, making sure you heard
Bout the awkward, 20-something in us all
(in love you’re gonna fall)
With our motherhumpin’ wit 5 days of the week!
Now I’m done
Now I’m done cuz this is tiring
And I’m whiter than snow.
My name is Chris
And this is the word
Everybody party
With the new second bird.
La la la la la la la laaaaaaa
Yo I'm Chris and I'm out!
Posts
6 comments:
welcome bird! success bird! fly bird! you are, a fly bird at that.
Hilarious! Bring it on!
I just have to say that this weekend I brought back the "when I say (this) you say (that)" chant.. I appreciate it's appearance in your rap! haha
For some reason the 3rd second bird bit made me think of that episode of Friends where Pheobe's boyfriend gets pissed off at the birds chirping and waking him up, and takes out his shotgun and kills them....
Not that I think you're going to get killed or anything. You should make a youtube video of your rap. I'd be entertained.
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