You Don't Own Me

Sorry, for my absence (not like you noticed…) I was in Portland for a conference. I spent my time going to meetings, skipping said meetings and going to the ocean, calling Patsy while at the ocean saying “I AM LOOKING AT THE OTHER OCEAN RIGHT NOW.” My nights (all two of them) were filled with walking around Portland admiring the cute vegan places, vintage clothing boutiques, a giant book store, and hitting up the bars.

I hope everyone had a lovely Halloween dressed as a Slutty _____________ (soccer hooligan, garbage collector, fry cook, postal worker.) As Brooklyn Vegan pointed out I had the year’s most unoriginal costume. I was Amy Winehouse post bloody knife fight with her husband.

Before becoming a drunken whiskey sour filled mess in another city I planed ahead. When I found out I was on deck for this weeks drinking game Netflix came to my rescue. One of these three ladies attended our alma mater so it is a bit of a GO COLLEGE shout out. That has nothing to do with why I picked this movie but it sounds classier than “I put it in my queue when I was feeling all lonely and upset and at the time I though it would give me a good laugh.”

I brought the DVD to my friend’s apartment along with a pocket full of enthusiasm, another friend, and a six pack of André- my favorite $3.99 sparkling wine. We started to play the game with only three of us and it went very well. When others joined I realized we were on our way to breaking the cardinal rule of movie drinking games. Thou shall not play a movie drinking game with more than 5 people. If played with more than five people the game will fizzle and everyone will start their own conversations. This fizzling is not always a bad thing. Some people were probably delighted at the games early ending. But for others (me) who actually wanted to play the slow death of the game was painful.

If we had played the game to the end our livers would harden and our hearts softened with a warming pro-woman agenda. Instead I was left barely feeling a buzz. Without further delay I bring you the classic 1990’s chick flick The First Wives Club.



Take a sip of your drink (out of the bottle)…
When a character takes a sip of their drink (alcoholic)

When the word lesbian is used or lesbianism is referenced

When someone says something to the effect of “this is the 90’s”

For every character on screen who is wearing pearls.

Shout l'chaim and drink when Bar Mitzvahs or studying Hebrew is discussed/occurs (this was turned into when Judaism is mentioned…which turned into when a person who is Jewish is on the screen) In conclusion drink when you see Bette Midler.