I wake up to Al Roker

I woke up at 7am, brewed some coffee, took a shower, tamed my wild mane and made a few thanksgiving side dishes.

By 8:45am I was ready to just relax and take in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. As I sat down with my hard cider I realized this is the perfect time to live blog. So I present to you my thoughts on the (first hour) of the American staple The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. (EDIT: I was tipsy when I wrote this, I made an executive decision and decided to post this as is...enjoy!)

9:00 am- Oh, those cheesy children dressed up in costume singing their guts out. I just know that they have no chance in hell at making it in the musical theater world. The guy at the ribbon cutting ceremony is ggggg gay and checking out his hair in the camera.

9:15 - Legally Blonde The Musical…wow singing a personal essay. When I am studying for LSAT’s I always wish things like this could happen. If I could only tap dance a personal essay instead of writing about how I want to save the world. Yes, I am a bit envious of a fictional blonde ditz who gets into Harvard Law because of “love”

9:20- Everyone is rubbing in the fact they are close to their families. SOME OF US LIVE ACROSS THE COUNTRY AND CAN’T BE WITH OUR FAMILIES. SOME OF US ARE STUCK CRASHING OUR BOSSES FAMILY EVENTS.

Why am I so bitter?

9:25 Young Frankenstein…this actually looks good. I am also already 2 hard ciders in…may or may not be dancing to the fridge to get another.

9:28 The Ronald McDonald balloon looks a bit like he is taking it in the rear from M&M guys.

9:30 Bob Saget in a helicopter, I have no clue why but this cracks me up. Now I hate him he is making fun of homeless people and the Golden Girls, not cool. Wait he just made a J-date joke which mildly increased his funniness.

9:30 Xanadu..I LOVE THIS MOVIE. Yes, I admitted this. And the idea of a roller-skating disco musical is my idea of heaven. Plus guys in American Apparel short shorts are always entertaining. I was born in the wrong decade. I want to think if I was in my 20’s in the late 70’s I would be a disco queen. In reality I would have been some lame lesbian feminist with a power suit job.

9:38 Time to call people and wish them a tipsy happy Thanksgiving…this does not count as a tipsy dial because I would have done this 100% not tipsy.

9:41- CHRISTOPHER MELONI (that guy from Law and Order SVU) HAS THE MOST AMAZING DOG. A pug, French Bulldog combo named Bonnie. I WANT ONE. I love pugs and French bull dogs, as I saw this dog I squealed it really is one of the cutest dogs ever.

9:43 Mary Poppins...nothing can compare to the classic movie. At this point I have moved on to rum and OJ. Why orange Juice, because that is the only mixer I have)

9:50 The ROCKETTS. I saw the Rockettst Easter special once. The show started with the Rocketts dressed like nuns singing in Latin, it was awkward and everyone in my family could not stop laughing. I opened up my blinds and I am sitting in the sun like a cat with my feet up in the air like a 15 year old girl on the phone. I have no clue why you need to know that but it fit.

9:56 The TV coverage of the balloons is starting…this is the boring part

9:59 I SPOKE TOO SOON DOLLY PARTON. God I wish I look as great as her “I am not the Dalai Lama but I try” words to live by Dolly, words to live by.

It has been a great hour. Mission accomplished if I do say so myself.

I wish you all a happy Thanksgiving and a lovely time with family and friends. Have a lovely Tofurkey day!

I wish I could quit you,
Eddie